Getting Back
In The Dating Game
by: John Alanis
I have bad news for you--if
it hasn't already happened, some day a woman
is going to break your heart. Yep, if you're
alive, you're male, and you like women, some
day one is going to break your heart.
Although it can be mitigated, it can't ever
be completely avoided, and how you respond
to it will determine your success with
dating women.
What I'm going to do today
is tell you how to get back into the dating
game--many guys screw this up, either
jumping right back in and getting into the
good ol' rebound relationship, or waste
their lives mooning over the one that got
away.
The first thing to realize
is, no matter how much you use my dating
strategies, if your relationship with a
woman ends in a way you don't want it to
(and this may range from her dumping you to
her dying in a car accident), you're going
to feel some pain, maybe some anger. You
can't avoid that, so just accept it.
The worst of it will last
about three weeks (sometimes more), and then
it will begin to slowly dissipate. During
these three weeks do NOT sit around and
mope. Occupy your mind with massive
action--work your ass off to make more
money, hit the gym hard, do whatever you can
to grab onto these powerful emotions and
harness them. I've known many men who've
started great businesses after dating a
woman who figuratively kicked them in the
teeth. Why? They harnessed their emotions
and turned them towards creative means.
During this time I don't
recommend you even think about dating or
women. Sports, business, guy stuff, hobbies
are all fine, but forget about
women--they'll be there soon enough. The
other thing to avoid is hatred. Be pissed
off at what happened, but don't put it on
her personally--you never know when she
might come back.
After the initial feelings
have dissipated a bit, you want to slowly
start bringing women back into your life. I
don't mean dating or anything like that, I
just mean starting conversations with women.
Talk to waitresses, bank tellers,
saleswomen, and try to create initial
attraction. Don't follow up, just get used
to briefly creating attraction with all
women. Do this for at least a month.
By this time the pain will
be dissipating day by day--it'll still be
there, but it will be less. The thing to do
next is to start turning the initial
attraction into meetings--coffee works best.
Here you'll want to amplify that spark of
attraction, and look for the opportunity to
spend more time with her.
You should not be meeting or
dating women who are looking for a serious
relationship at this point. You want to meet
women who are bright and fun, and who are
out to have a good time. Nothing lessens
pain more than having fun with a few great
women, re-acclimating yourself to being in
their company. Stay with this step as long
as you want--I know a few knuckleheads who
are blissfully "stuck" at this step, and
that's OK.
Now you're to the point
where you can decide for yourself if you're
ready for something more serious. You've
built a great foundation for yourself--you
turned pain into creativity, learned how to
create attraction for women, had some great
dating adventures with some great women, and
have the CHOICE of where to proceed next.
Sounds a heck of a lot better to me than
chasing some dumb rebound relationship or
spending your life moping over the "one."
She ain't the one, just the "last one" and
YOU get to choose the "next one!" Take it
from the King, the best cure for pain is
planned action--you just might discover you
came out ahead in the end.
